Why I Don’t Love My Fiance

Michael J. Pittman

In 130 days I’m getting married, and a friend recently asked me why I love my fiancé. I wanted to share a deeper perspective on Amanda and I’s relationship, so before I answered why I love her, I had to first explain to him the reasons I don’t love my future bride to be.

I came to two conclusions:
First is, I don’t love Amanda for what’s on the outside. I know. It sounds cheesy, it sounds sappy. This perspective is not a novel idea by any means. How many times have you heard someone say, “I don’t love you for what’s on the outside. I love you for what’s on the inside.” But that brings me to my second conclusion.

I don’t love Amanda for what’s on the inside either.

Now don’t get me wrong, there are many things on the inside and outside that I love about

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Bell Hooks talks Beyoncé and ‘Boring’ Nicki Minaj ‘Anaconda’ video

New Pittsburgh Courier

bell-hooks-nicki-minaj-e1413345245601

Nicki Minaj may have attracted many looks and headlines over the racy video to her song “Anaconda,” but for bell hooks, the clip falls into the been there, seen that many times category.

The feminist/social activist was among a group of women weighing in on female sexuality in pop culture during a recent panel at the New School in New York called “Whose Booty Is This?” Other participants included Anna Czarnik-Neimeyer, Lynnee Denise and Stephanie Troutman.

Hooks’ mention of Minaj’s video came as she expressed a desire for variety of images that showcase different looks and experiences for young girls and women.

“I’m not lifted up by the image of [Laverne Cox on the cover of Time] or Beyoncé lifted up on the white magazines and the way they’ve been dressed and the way they look. I don’t look at those images and feel lifted up…

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24 hours later, and still nauseated by the images I saw at Kiambu district hospital

Heartbreaking, this why mum always says never go to public hospitals.

susanchomba

Yesterday I went to visit my cousin who is admitted in Kiambu district (general) hospital with a serious case of liver and kidney infection. The last time I took a stroll in a public hospital ward was more than 20 years ago, to visit my grandfather at the Embu district hospital. Back then, bad management of public hospitals was the norm rather than the exception across the country. Fast forward 20 years later, after mostly visiting the likes of Aga Khan and Nairobi hospital (thanks to the now quite affordable medical insurance taken up by white collar working class Kenyans and particularly in Nairobi); after witnessing what seems like a country on a development path with modern highways and sprouting shopping malls; I have been (falsely) led to believe Kenyans are moving away from poverty. Even the most recent economic analysis seemed to validate my view of a growing economy:…

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Conversations with Father (about men & dating)

Me:I just watched a show about how successful (i.e. college educated) black women are not getting married.

Him:Why is that a show? What’s the problem? A black woman is better off by herself than with a black man that will bring her down. There’s no point in getting married unless it’s about mutual love and respect.

Me:Well a lot of the black men on the show said that the reason black women are single is because they expect too much.

Him:Psh. Black women do not expect too much! What is a black woman supposed to do? She is educated. She has her life in order. And she is supposed to get with any old man because he didn’t get his life together but still feels he is entitled to any woman he wants?

Me:Well they said that you have to look at a man’s potential.

Him:That’s what they want you to think so that you don’t require anything in actuality from them. You look at who a man is. Not who he says he will be.

Me:The show also talked about why a lot of men cheat. They said it’s because women were not keeping them happy or not sexually doing what they want.

Him:That’s ridiculous. There’s no reason for anybody to cheat. If a man is grounded then he will love his partner enough not to cheat.

Me:They also said that you need to make a man feel like a man.

Him:If I am a man then why would I need a woman to make me feel like a man?

Me:I don’t know.

Him:A real man does not need a woman to make him feel like a man. He is a man, isn’t he? Men who say that have an inferiority complex.

Me:Well they were saying that they need to feel like they wear the pants in the relationship.

Him:Look. A man does not feel threatened by anyone unless he does not have his own life together. And in that case he will be threatened whether a woman lays down and lets him walk all over him or if she makes more money or anything else.

(Seen on tumblr)

Protect Your Innocence

I started having sex at the very tender age of eight. I was introduced to it by my cousin Al, who was seven years older than me. He was the oldest of my cousins and he knew a lot of things.

He found me in Aunt Eva’s bedroom one afternoon. I do not remember what it is that I was doing there. In his hands was something wrapped in a white polythene wrapper. He seemed a little bit nervous. 

“What’s that, Al?” I asked.

“Wanna have sex?” he asked back.

“What’s sex?”

“Do you wanna know?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll show you. But you have to promise that you will not tell Aunt Eva.”

“Why?”

“Because she will get REALLY upset and we are both gonna be in trouble.”

“Why?”

“Because we are not supposed to be having sex, especially you because you are still a child.”

“Why? Is sex bad?”

“No, it’s not. But it’s not alright for you to have it yet.”

“Can I go ask Aunt Eva for permission?”

“No, you fool!”

“Why?”

“Do you wanna have sex, Wan?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay then be a good girl and do as I say, okay?”

I nodded.

And we had sex. I enjoyed it and I asked Al if we could have it again. He said we could, as long as I kept my mouth shut. We had sex again two days later in my room when no one was home. And we kept on having it clandestinely for the few years that followed. Sometimes Aunt Eva would get suspicious of us and prod us.

“Where have you two been?” she’d ask.

“Erm, we were just playing and reading. Wan, isn’t that right?” Al would respond.

“Yes, it’s true. We were playing and reading,” I would say.

“You two have been spending too much time together, hiding. Must you play and read behind closed doors?” Aunt Eva would wonder. 

“That way no one will interrupt us,” Al would say.

“And what’s that on your mouth, Wan? What have you been eating?” Aunt Eva would ask me.

“Nothing,” I would lie.

“And what’s that in your hands, Al?” She’d ask him.

“Nothing,” he’d lie.

And it was our dirty little secret for those few years until Al left for another state where he got a job. I was twelve then. I cried a lot. I would miss him, especially all the sex he’d give me. He was the only one who could give me sex because he was the only one who could get it right. Without anyone ever knowing. 

I had become addicted to sex. The many months that followed were very hard for me as I tried to silently grapple with the fact that I was no longer having sex. I became withdrawn and very moody. Everyone noticed a change in me but they all thought it was because Al had left and we were very close. That was partly the truth. I wanted sex. Badly.

One Saturday afternoon I went to the kitchen where Aunt Eva was busy baking. The strong urge to have some sex overwhelmed me the moment I stepped in. Since Al left, I never set foot into the kitchen on Saturday afternoons, when Aunt Eva would bake very delicious cakes for her church. But this particular afternoon I was determined to ask Aunt Eva if I could have sex. Aunt Eva was very strict and stern and I was sure she would say no, but I was unhesitating.

“Hey, Aunt,” I said softly.

“Yes?” as she went on her business, beating eggs and mixing mixtures.

“I wanna ask you something.”

“If it’s about going to Marvin’s birthday party, I already said no,” she said, her eyes focused on what she was doing.

“But Marvin is our neighbour!”

“I know that, baby.”

“So why can’t we go?”

“I already told you. I do not like him. He has very bad friends and I do not want you kids to be like them.”

“But it’s just an innocent birthday partyyyy,” I whined.

She looked up and said, “Go study. I’m busy here.”

“Okay but that’s not what I wanted to ask.”

“What did you wanna ask?”

“If I could have sex.”

She looked up at me again. This time confusion and shock was written all over her face.

“What?” she asked in a low tone. She was standing still, having stopped doing what she was doing.

“Can I have some sex?” I asked again.

“Do you know what sex is?”

“Yes.”

She panicked a little bit. She washed her hands, came to me, held my hand and led me to the dining room. She asked me again if I knew what sex was. I replied positively.

“How do you know about sex?” she enquired.

“Al told me about it.”

“What? When?” she was getting nervous.

“A long time ago. We used to have sex.”

“WHAT??!” her heart stopped. She started breathing very heavily. She was obviously very disturbed by my confession. 

“Oh my God. Oh my God. Why didn’t you ever tell me, my love? Did he force you? Is that why you two used to hide together?” she asked as she held my hand in hers. She was sweating and shaking. 

“No, he never forced me and I didn’t tell you because he made me promise that I wouldn’t. And I knew if I told you we wouldn’t be having sex anymore and I love it.”

“Oh Jesus Christ, Lord have mercy.”

“I shouldn’t have asked you,” I said, as I hang my head in shame and disappointment.

“This is serious, Wan,” she said softly.

“Please just let me have a little bit, please.”

“You are twelve, for crying out loud. You can’t be having sex!”

“But I would have it when I was younger. Did I die?”

“It was wrong and it still is.”

“It was wrong because Al would steal it. Now I’m asking you because he’s not here and I can’t steal it.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked, looking a little bit confused.

“Sex!” I responded.

“Al would STEAL sex?”

“Yeah, when you weren’t looking or when you were not around.”

“I don’t understand, baby.”

“He would steal some sex and we would hide to have it.”

“What on earth do you mean?”

“Argh! The stuff you use for the cake!”

“Okay, you’ve lost me.”

“Come,” I said as I got up, pulled her hand and led her to the kitchen. I pointed at a big jar at the kitchen counter and said, “That!”

She took the jar and in confusion asked, “This?”

“Yes. Al used to steal some and we would hide ourselves and have it.”

“Baby, this is icing sugar.”

“Sugar? Al told me it’s called sex.”

She laughed. 

“Why are you laughing?”

“You gave me a fright there, darling.”

“Can I have some sex sugar then?”

“Icing sugar. Al lied to you. This is not called sex. Sex is a completely different thing.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll tell you one day soon. No wonder I would get very surprised at how fast I would run out of icing sugar.”

“Then can I have some of this sugar? Please?”

“No. Go do your homework or something. I’m busy,” she said as she got back to her baking business.

 
Courtesy of….someone of facebook. 

Solange Knowles on Hair

Solange Knowles on Hair

“My mom owned a hair salon for 25 years, and I have seen every texture, every color, every length, and I was always taught from a young age that good hair is healthy hair.

[As black women], we are so hard on ourselves. After people saw my hair for the first time [shaved after wearing it below the shoulder], I got all the backlash. There were a lot of jokes; people who just flat out say, “You’re ugly without your hair.” On Twitter, it was the No. 3 trending topic. I was like, These are my people and this is what is important to them? I have family that still has those attitudes [of light skin and long hair being automatically better than dark skin and short hair].

I think that when I was younger, I may have tried extra hard to be like, Let me get dirty. I think my mother, whether she would admit it or not, overcompensated in ways to do the same, because she felt like people would think she was too bougie. She even told me when she was younger she went through this Angela Davis phase where she would put sand in her hair. Clorox in her hair to make it coarser because she always felt like people were judging her to be that typical lighter-complexioned, fine hair, green-eyed woman.

We had so much resentment growing up. My mom, who is [Louisiana] Creole, was so protective against family influences. She was scared for us, because many of my cousins still are doing brown paper bag tests [meaning if you’re lighter than a paper bag you’re okay and if you’re darker are not], maybe not literally…

After I had my son, and I was married, I wanted to be the typical pretty, long-haired trophy wife. That’s when I started wearing weaves—long and blonde. I would cook three meals a day, be with my baby, clean the house, and bring cookie’s to my ex-husband’s football team. But as soon as we broke up, I was like, This shit is gone! [Laughter] This doesn’t even look right with my skin tone. Since then I’ve done whatever the hell I wanted.

Can we talk about how many people have given me these kind hugs when I had a weave?…

When I cut my hair off, I felt liberated. I felt like the time, energy, and money that I was putting into maintaining everyday could go to maintaining myself, my emotional and my mental growth.”

— Solange, excerpts from her interview in “The Root of The Issue” (Essence magazine, 2009)

A WIFE’S UNFAILING LOVE FOR HER HUSBAND

I, Sarah Adams take you, Lawson Kuti as my lawful wedded husband, to love and to cherish, in sickness and in health, till death do us part” she smiled at him through her veil.

“You may now kiss your bride Mr. Lawson” The Pastor beckoned.

Lawson’s heart raced as he gently unveiled his bride’s face. She looked so beautiful. He gently bent over and placed a soft kiss on her lips. Sarah in turn embraced him tightly with tears of joy streaming down her face.

“Never leave me Sarah” He whispered in her ear.

 

“I will never leave you” she whispered and they slowly released themselves from the embrace.

“I present to you the latest couple!” The Pastor exclaimed excitedly

The church cheered and Sarah cried more in her husband’s arms

5 years Later

Sarah silently tip toed behind her husband. He was in his study, engrossed in reading. She smiled to herself and gently covered his eyes with both hands.

“It’s just you and I in this house Sara, plus, I smelled you the moment you walked in” He dropped

Sara released her hold, sighed and sat on the study table, “Why do you figure me out so easily? I can’t even surprise you! That sucks” she curled her arms around his neck

“You are my wife, nothing you do is supposed to surprise me” He playfully pecked her nose.

“But you’ve been in the study all day and I’m bored!” She rolled her eyes

“So what kind of fun do you suggest we have then?” He swooped her off the table in his arms

“No! no that kind of fun!” She hit him playfully till he put her down

“Ok”, He folded his arms on his chest, looking into her eyes, “So what do you want us to do?”

“Not us. Actually, all I want is to play with your play station and you’ve hidden it again! Just give it to me and you can continue your reading, pleaaaseee” She blinked her eyes playfully

“No way”, He went back toward his study chair and sat, “Not my play station”

“Why! You never let me touch it…like its your baby” She sulked

“Well”, he rolled his eyes, “Not like you’ve given me a baby yet”

Sara paused for a moment. Did he just say that to her? The words struck her deep down

“You shouldn’t have said that Lawson…” She managed to say, her countenance changing.

“But it’s true…I’m only saying the truth Sara” He turned to face her, still sitting on the chair.

“The truth? You think I don’t want us to have kids?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that…” He stood to face her now.

“Then what are you saying Lawson? Tell me, what is the truth?”

“Let’s not do this today…please. You can have the play station and play all you want. It’s in my footwear locker and the key is in my Bible”

“You always do this…hurting me with your words” Her voice began to shake

“Don’t start Sara please”

“Tell me why you said those words to me! I want to know!”

“Because I’m tired! I want to be a father! I want to have my own kids Sara…”

” and you think I don’t?!” Sara flared, trying not to let the tears pour

“Then why can’t you get pregnant Sara? This is the fifth year we are trying.” He clenched his teeth and walked out of the study room.

Sara was in shock. She sat on the chair for some seconds, stood up again and sat on the chair again…this time she held on to her blouse and burst into tears.

2weeks after

“Lawson, wake up please” Sara tapped him

Lawson gently opened his eyes and looked at the alarm clock by his bedside, “It’s 2:00am Sara…”

“It’s urgent”

“I’m listening” He said drowsily

“Mother says we should come for tests. She says she’s spoken to her doctor and he said we should come.”

“What?” Lawson opened his eyes now, “Your mother is in the UK for Christ’s sakes”

“Let’s just do it. We can go for the weekend, lets just give it a shot, please.”

“No. That would be rather expensive and…”

“It’s my birthday today and the only thing I want from you is this trip”

Lawson fell quiet now. For the past two years now, his wife’s birthday skips his mind…totally.

“I’m…I’m sorry Sara…It skipped my mind…”

“It always does” She lay down back on the bed, backing him.

Lawson wrapped his arms around her waist, “I said I’m sorry…”

No response.

Lawson sighed, “Fine, we go this weekend”

“Really?” She turned sharply, excited

“If it will make you happy today”

“Thank you baby” She hugged him.

A week after

Sara jerked at the vibration of the phone in her pocket.

“Hi mom!” she pressed the phone to her ear with her shoulders, wiping the washed dishes with her hands.

“Honey…”

“What is it mom?” she pressed it harder

“The result…the result of the tests…” her mother cried

Sarah gently dropped the plate and the wiper, hear racing…”Just say it mom…”

That night

“I can never have children Lawson…” Sara cried

Lawson felt his world crash right in front of him, “W…what?”

“Mama called today…she’s gotten the tests results”

“Jesus Christ” Lawson stood, placing his palm on his head, “b…but you told me you were ok before we got married, you told me the doctor said your abortion didn’t damage your womb”

“Don’t bring my past into this!” Sara flared

Lawson laughed and got serious almost immediately, “You are crazy. I married a crazy woman!”

Sara looked at him in shock, like he’d lost his mind.

“The results say you can never have children and we both know that this has to do with the abortion you had before we met!”, he flared, “are you happy?…you know we’re screwed right? No kids? what re we going to tell the world?”

“Lawson we can adopt…” Sara cried

“Adopt? Wow!”, he laughed again, “I married a funny woman too!” He got serious again, “Its still not our baby! The damn baby is not my flesh and blood! You are full of deceit Sara” He looked into her eyes. Sara could see him fighting his tears.

“Lawson stop…you are hurting me…” Sara fell on her knees crying

“You want to know what I’m thinking?” Lawson looked at her with disgust, “I’m thinking how on earth I’m going to stand seeing your deceitful face for the rest of my life”

“Sara cried harder, “Dont give up Lawson…So far I have a womb…I can still carry our baby…”

“I am not giving up on having my baby, I’m giving up on you” Lawson turned around to leave

“Lawson!” She held his feet, “I’m hurting too…”

He only dragged his feet from her hold and drove out of the house. She wept.

A month Later

“Mother, he’s not even talking to me. All of a sudden we are both strangers…He doesn’t eat my food, comes home late…he hates me so much and it’s killing me. I’m confused…to think that it’s truly hurting…”

“For how long will you hide this truth from him. You’ve got to let him know…you can’t carry his…”

There was the sound of a car horn

“Mom I’ve got to go…he’s back”

“Baby, you’ve got to let him know. It can work when you two are one in mind”

“Bye mom” she ended the call.

Lawson came into the house, about to walk past her.

“Lawson” She held him

“I’m tired” He didn’t want to look at her face

“I know…can we talk for some minutes?” She tried to help him remove his suit

“Look what is it” He jerked from her

“Do you hate me this much? you can’t even look me in the eye? you can’t even stand my sight? Lawson…it’s me Sara…your best friend…” Her eyes grew moist

“I’m in no mood for this” He turned around to walk away

“Don’t you dare leave when I’m talking to you!” She dragged him by the suit. Just then, some papers fell to the floor. Sara quickly bent to pick them up…her hands shook and her body became numb all over.

“D…divorce papers? Lawson?” She searched his eyes

“Answer me goddammit!” She held him by the collar of his shirt, crying

“They are for you to sign. I want to be out” Lawson dropped

“Y…you what?” she slowly freed him from her hold

“It’s not going to work Sara, can’t you see?”

“Lawson I can’t believe you would think of a divorce and even go this far…why are you so wicked!” she cried, angry

“No! Why are you so wicked!” He retorted, flaring

“Think about me for once. I am a man for Christ’s sakes. My children are my pride! and you are about to deny me that for the rest of my life because of your stupid mistake!”

“What about me! have you stopped for once to think about what I’m going through”

“It’s your cross, carry it” Lawson fixed his angry eyes on his wife

“No, its now our cross and I am not signing those divorce papers! We vowed never to leave each other!”

“Isn’t it better Sara that you save yourself more hurt and sign these papers than to see another woman move into this house before your very eyes?” he said with a tone of sarcasm

Sara’s heart thumped, “What?”

“You heard me…another woman who can help raise a family, so save yourself the stress and sign the damn papers. I need it tomorrow”He turned around to leave again

“She still can’t carry your baby” Sara dropped

“Not all women had abortions. Not every woman was like you.” He scorned

“You are the one who can’t give me a child!” Sara let out, crying.

Lawson stopped now, turned around and walked towards her, “Whatever your plan is won’t work”

“I told you I could never have a child because its you who can’t make me pregnant”

“Shut up! shut up Sara! what the hell are you saying!” He shook her shoulders violently

“You are infertile Lawson…the doctor says you have primary infertility…” Sara burst into tears

Lawson gasped, loosing his balance.

“Mother called me to give me the news. I was shattered, I felt like my world was over but more importantly I thought of you. I thought of what the news could do to you, I thought of the best way to tell you… never for once did i think of leaving you. I bore your insults, your scorn, because of my past. It was so easy to judge me and think of yourself. I am the one who is hurting, I am the one who should bring some miserable divorce papers…but I thought of you…I thought of hope, faith and a miracle…I thought of my vow to you on that altar. In sickness and in health remember?”, she smiled through her tears, “all of a sudden you are as weak as a baby…looking in your eyes, I can see you sudenly have lost all your guards, You are so wicked”

“Sara…” Lawson fell on his knees, torn.

“No!” She quickly fell on her knees too, “No Lawson…” She couldn’t bear to see him cry

“I’m…I’m infertile”, he cried, “What is left of me?” he searched his wife’s eyes

“Lawson please…” she held his face, “I understand…it has been so hard for me…I have put myself in your shoes since the first day…”

“You don’t deserve this…you deserve better…I can’t believe I scorned you all along…please let me leave you”

“No” she shook her head, “You are my husband. I won’t leave you. I won’t let you leave me…I believe in miracles”

“I’m doomed…Sara I’m doomed…”He allowed his wife take him in her arms and on her shoulder he wept like a child.

In the Morning

Sara gently opened her eyes, looking beside her bed…it was empty. She quickly sat up on seeing a note gently placed on the bed. Hands shaking, she opened the letter to read.

Sara,

I cannot bear the shame. I have treated you so unfairly, yet you love me still, you are with me even in this condition of mine. To think that you knew all along and you never for once gave me a clue that it is my fault we are in this mess, makes me so unworthy of you. I love you enough to let you build another life with a man who can make you happier. I’m torn Sara and all I ask is your forgiveness. I have always loved you and if you truly love me then please start your life over again…without me…I am truly sorry for disappointing you.

Lawson.

Sara couldn’t control the tears. She couldn’t think straight anymore. She picked her cell phone, shaking…

“Hi Mr. Lawson’s office please”

“Hi Lola…” she cried, “have you seen my husband today?”

“No…no ma’am, we’ve been expecting him at work. He has a presentation is fifteen minutes”

“Oh God…God…” Sara dipped her hand in her full hair

“Everything ok ma’am?”

“Thank you” she ended the call.

She quickly got down from the bed and in her pyjamas she ran into her car. She dialed his number repeatedly as she drove…no answer.

At 2:00pm

She sped into Fred’s compound, a close friend to her husband.

“Fred!” she banged the door hastily till the door flung open

“My God Sara what’s wrong?” Fred held her

“It’s…it’s Lawson…have you seen him? is he here?”

“No…Haven’t heard from him in a week”

“Oh God” she held her hair

“What’s wrong?”

But she was already walking away into her car.

“Sara!” He called after her.

She zoomed away.

4:30pm

“Mom, Dad, I can’t find Lawson…I can’t find your son…” she cried as she paced in front of the two who looked lost

“You have to calm down and tell us what happened” Lawson’s mother put her arms around Sara.

Sara burst into tears, “Please Dad could you try his number, maybe he’d pick your call?”

“Have you been to his office?” He picked his cellphone and dialed his son’s number

“I have been everywhere I know him to be likely available”

“It’s ok…calm down please” Lawson’s mother pet her

“He’s not picking. What exactly went wrong between you two?” Lawson’s father searched Sara’a eyes

9:00pm

Sara was still in her pyjamas and on her way back home, exhausted and stuck in the traffic. She had told Lawson’s parents everything. The poor couple was so shattered and also begging her to begin a new life. Sara buried her head on the steering, crying; she hadn’t realized the green light.

“Hey get off the freaking road!” a driver cursed from behind her

“God please don’t let him harm himself…keep him safe and lead me to him…please God…” she quickly started the car and began to move.

Suddenly she remembered the church where they wedded and took their vows. It was two hours from here; she made a u-turn and headed for the church hoping to find some peace.

She tiredly got down from the car, drenched and exhausted. She trudged into the open entrance of the church. She paused for a moment; shocked…it was Lawson sitting at the front row of the empty church, facing the altar.

“Lawson!” She began to run towards him, happy, relieved that he was ok.

“Sara?” He quickly stood as she approached him, “Sara…”

They both ran into each other’s arms. He hugged her so tightly

“I looked for you everywhere….thi­­s was the last place I thought you’d ever be…I just came and I saw you…Lawson….I’m­­ so happy you are ok” she touched his face

“I didn’t know where else to go…It just feels like I cant face the world anymore…” he slowly released her from his embrace.

“Take my hand” Sara stretched out her hand, “C’mon, just take it”

Lawson gently clasped his hand into hers and she took him to the altar and stood to face him. She searched his eyes so deeply and hadn’t seen him so weak and helpless.

“Five years ago Lawson, we both stood on this altar. Remember our vows? Remember you whispered in my ear never to leave you. I told you I wouldn’t…that’s­­ why I’m here. I am your wife Lawson, I am meant to be with you forever, though the bad and good times. We’ve had good times, why would I leave you now? All I want from you is to believe that you can still give me a child despite what the result said…I want you to believe in a miracle”, she held his face, “remember when you told me I was a miracle in your life?…our children will be our miracles too. Trust God with me because I know it won’t be long…”

“Who are you Sara…” Lawson was weak with her words

“The one who vowed to be with you till the end” she smiled through her thin tears

“God I love you so much Sara” He hugged her again

“So will you come back home with me?” Sara searched his eyes

“I have no other place to call home” He placed a soft kiss on her lips.

2 years after

Lawson and Sara were on the sofa watching a late night movie. Sara was resting on his shoulders when she felt the movement

“Lawson Lawson, it moved again…don’t miss it this time touch touch” she gently placed his palm on the side of the stomach. Both felt the movement of their child

“I can feel him…I can feel him” Lawson placed his head on her belly

“I can feel him growing each day inside of me…”

“What do you think its saying now by this movement?”

“Thank you dada for believing in me” she laughed. They both laughed “The movement has stopped” he slowly removed his head from her stomach, “I think he’s sleeping”

Sara rested on his shoulders again, “In six months you’d be a father, “You finally got your miracle”

Lawson tilted his wife’s face to him, looking into her eyes, “Sara…you were the miracle I needed. Thank you for not leaving me.”

Sara tickled his nose with hers, “I love you too. Always will”, she smiled, “We missed a whole lot on our movie”

“Movie can wait, but this can’t” He gently planted a kiss on her belly.

Hi Friends,

First, we forget our vows so easily, so quickly that once our marriages start hitting the rocks, we fail to realize that there is power in union. When there is union, every mountain can be subdued. The problem is people don’t yet understand the concept of marriage and trust me, until you do, please don’t go to the alter because what you don’t understand will eventually become a burden and confuse you. The concept of marriage is ‘for better, for worse’. The ‘worse’ moments always come. I am not saying expect bad things but I’m saying that challenges come in marriage to make you stronger in oneness so don’t use it against yourselves.

Second, miracles are real and I hope we all learn to have the patience to have our miracles in the end. Remember that marriage is a ‘stick and stay’ relationship not a ‘hit and run’ thing.

Remember your vows each day, enjoy your marriage, you deserve it!

Culled from: Nigerianweddings.
Photo: Still Life Media